FALSE ALARM: Major Cleanup in Mediocre Mall Averted

Westwood MA- The Dedham Mall’s manager can now rest easy. Chaos erupted yesterday after a ticking dirty bomb was left at the transgender bathroom in the Lids store.
ISIS has been targeting such malls as being transgender
is obviously against Sharia law. A huge relief descended upon everyone after the bomb exploded and it was found not to be as dirty as it was first feared.  In a surprising turn of events, Donald Trump has reached an accord with the ISIS leader.  Essentially a treaty, the terrorists will cease and desist all their activities effective immediately in exchange for rent free accommodation in the first 6 floors of Trump Tower which they'll use as a command center to attack OTHER countries other than yours truly. Bernie will be the doorman and Hillary won't have a role.


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