ROWDY NINJA SAY - HUMOR IS THE STEAMING HOT BUTTER IN WHICH YOU DIP YOUR HANDS. IT CAN ONLY BE ACHIEVED THROUGH SHORT STORIES AND VIDEO CLIPS.
Ninja Vines[ VIDEO 2]
The Rowdy Ninja is actually a Japanese genie who dishes out misery and painful misfortune. Another distinctive difference with your conventional genie, is the fact that instead of rubbing a kettle like a dumbass, you prod your left eye with a genuine Samurai sword..crafted by sober no-nonsense monks:
SWEET KIDS
What a Bunch of Genius Serpents
Randolph, MA - Smart vipers have constructed a vast network of underground
tunnels connecting Randolph’s daycare facilities.
A federal mole accidentally stumbled upon the intricate network and discovered the vipers intended to feast on children at play in full view of their caretakers.
A federal mole accidentally stumbled upon the intricate network and discovered the vipers intended to feast on children at play in full view of their caretakers.
Thirsty For Organs
Why does it have fangs? No thanks. I'll take the midget cockatoo.
Norwell MA- 48 year old Peter Shineworth of 1.5th Maple Loop Norwell, is in serious condition after getting mauled by his carnivorous Hornbill Parrot.
Moderately reliable parties
NON VENOMOUS GUN BLEACH: Conman Feeling the Heat After Pulling a Fast One on Bay State's Finest
after it was discovered that the sleek scaly liquid he’s been delivering to the new barracks in Brockton wasn’t authentic at all. Lab tests proved it was really lizard grease and all the Troopers that had unfortunately already used it to clean their muskets have been asked to stop doing it.
TALESPIN: Graffiti With Loving Messages of Terror New Trend in Egypt
GINGER OBLITERATES CUDDLY PEST: Cute Raccoon Loses to Unpopular Ginger
Weymouth - After totally destroying an almost fully grown raccoon with a pick ax,
a South Weymouth ginger boy is being credited for saving his grandmother’s Rottweiler from ultimate doom.The scheming critter had apparently snuck in through a wide open front door only to encounter a very determined Rick Mobley of 44506 Hellgate St apt # 567 who loves domestic pets but despises wild ones. Raccoons are known to generally stay away from imposing dog breeds as Rottweilers but one can never be too sure.
FALSE ALARM: Major Cleanup in Mediocre Mall Averted
ISIS has been targeting such malls as being transgender
KINKY PHILANTHROPY: Heartless Hooligans Fruit-Loom Lower Middle Class Families.
East Bridgewater - The Salvation Army store by Church’s Chicken was broken into
shortly after 3am this morning. The
thieves stole 5 hampers of underwear that Goodwill had donated with the hopes
of helping the needy stay hygienic in these bountiful times. Goodwill has in the past been known to accept
unwashed underwear from area strip clubs which can fetch thousands on Craigslist
and Backpage. With this in mind, an inside job is highly suspected and
employees in both stores are currently being interrogated by the County
Commissioner and her wife.
LAGOS ENFORCERS: East European Henchmen Needed. Italians Need Not Apply
Brockton mayor Carpenter is in deep trouble after it was
discovered he hired Nigerian henchmen to intimidate union workers. The latter have for days been working on an
above ground tunnel that gives residents a direct route to Haymarket. The
workers tried to appease a group of the Nigerians earlier today by tossing
lumps of tar dust at their faces, but this only served to incredibly infuriate
them. A contentious negotiation has been
in the works since mid May of last year. Carpenter believes hiring private
contractors as the best way to go about the project because he once got punched
in the face by a union boss at a church banquet. Please don't be mad if you're redirected to a gofundme page.when you click anywhere on this page. We're trying to raise money to hire Russian ex KGB psychotic mercenary mafia assassins to counter the Nigerians. The mayor is obviously unfairly using jackass tactics that can only be remedied by similar maneuvers.CANINED SELF SERVER: BMI Index Violator Experiences Gone Gonad.
GREEKED TARMAC! Leggy Clueless Woman Sets Off Mayhem Chain Reaction
MURDEROUS MEERKATS NOW PROWLING BROCKTON STREETS IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT: Druggies Beware.
A disturbing trend has cropped up in Brockton (Boston’s safest neighborhood) and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. >When vagrants ( obviously out of towners from Newton and Wellesley) pass out on the streets after a night of glue licking, a grizzly sight has greeted kids trying to make their way to school the next morning. Security camera footage shows the ferocious striped rodents just stabbing their victims with reckless abandon about the neck area with the cork opener end of a swiss knife. They then proceed to suck out the adam’s apple and piss on the unfortunate victim before making a hasty retreat into the darkness from whence they came. If you don't like this "article", like it anyway to piss off people who you mildly despise.
UNPATRIOTIC LEPRECHAUN: Age Old Rivalry Officially Escalated For Good
Foxboro, MA - The crosstown rivalry between the Celtics and the Patriots has now reached a boiling point after Robert Kraft decided to fire Bellichick due to accumulating unpaid Masspike toll tickets. As a last ditch effort to secure the future of the team, Mrs. Kraft intervened and yada yada yada, Paul Pierce was called in from LA. A tentative deal was reached for him to coach the Pats through the 2028 season but he abruptly changed his mind after a reporter reminded him how Wes Welker had shown up at the Garden wearing a Pacers jersey back in 2003. The Truth later nonchalantly spat on Brady’s brand new Corolla on his way out of the parking lot just to make a point.